Pink or Blue: Does it matter to you?


[I wrote this piece a few years ago and found it and have reread it and wanted to post.  I love it because I’ve been able to see how I’ve experienced more and grown as a parent.  My son is certainly “all boy,” as they say but he also loves to wear bows in his hair because that is what his sister does.  He’s tried on my bra because it looks interesting.  He picks out kitty cat valentines instead of Ninja Turtles. Guess what? I love every single bit of it.  He is amazing to me.  He is creative, accepting and loving.  Lets encourage our kids to be exactly who they are– because they’re beautiful!]

When you find out you’re expecting it is such an exciting time.  Your mind is clouded with a million thoughts at once.  When I found out I was expecting I could almost feel the thoughts surging through my body… physically.  It was so much at once.  It was fear.  It was excitement.  It was overwhelming!  When the news settled with me, the fear and excitement  turned to complete curiosity!  This little baby inside of me… was it a boy or a girl?

I imagined a pink room with big monograms and pearls and butterflies and sweet sayings.  I imagined a room with dinosaurs and trucks and dark blue hues.  I wondered if I was carrying a boy or a girl.  I wondered if a boy would like dinosaurs or sailboats… or if a girl might love princesses or kittens!  All I knew was, I couldn’t wait to find out the gender so I could decorate “accordingly.”

In the news lately it seems that there is a lot of praise for “gender neutral.”  I certainly understand what the fuss is all about.  Recently someone tweeted that Target had signage that indicated there were building sets and “girls’ building sets.”  I assume that means there are building sets, and then there are pink building sets.  I understand that Target was just distinguishing between the two.  However, I also get that someone could take offense to this verbiage.  I have found myself in the toy aisle lamenting about how all the kitten toys have pink bows!  Why can’t cats be for boys?  We love cats in this house and I would love to find a “boy” kitty toy.

With this being a hot topic in the news, I’ve wondered recently… am I wrong to want to decorate a daughters room with pink and pearls?  Am I wrong to assume that my son wants dinosaur sheets and a train bed?  Am I wrong to wish that they had “boy” plush kitty toys?

Yes, and no.

I believe that once a child is old enough to tell you what they want and what they prefer, then by all means, indulge them! (within reason of course).  If my son tells me he wants the kitty with the pink bow and the diamond collar that is typically marketed for girls– he will get the kitty!  Even if I was secretly wishing there was a more masculine kitty option, I didn’t hesitate at all because underneath it all, it is a toy cat!  Whether it is a boy cat or a girl cat– it is a cat that makes my son happy and that is ALL that matters.  If my daughter told me that she wanted a train set with little boys playing on the cover of the box– give her the train set! This does not bother me.  I would buy them what they desired and would not make them feel ashamed for it or embarrassed by it.  There is nothing embarrassing about wanting these things.  A child’s interests should be encouraged.

With that being said, what I do have a problem with is the people that “hate” on those that hear they’re having a boy or a girl and decorate the nursery traditionally.  By traditionally I mean, a blue room for boys and a pink room for girls.  They are babies.  They can’t talk yet, they can’t tell you that they hate pink or that they love blue!  They are your sweet bundle of joy and you want the absolute best for them.  You want a room that you believe makes them happy and makes you happy.  If you have a beautiful little girl and you want to paint the entire room with Disney princesses, I think that should be encouraged and not looked down on.  You are not limiting this child and restricting what they are allowed to love.  You are painting a picture of what you think is fun/fitting for your child and what you think they would enjoy (and what you enjoy!).  You care enough to give them a festive room that they may grow up to love and they may not.  But for now, embrace this time.  Decorate, celebrate and love.  They are only babies for such a small amount of time.  Try not to overthink things.

Parenting during stressful life events:  7 things to remember. 


This week has been a whirlwind.  We planned out our dinners on Sunday, made it through school drop off on Monday and I even got a walk in at the lake with my friend Emily!  It seemed that the week was starting off nicely (aside from an extremely hard drop off at school Monday morning– oh Mondays.)  Then we got a text to come to the hospital an hour away to see a family member.  The week has been an emotional rollercoaster.  I’ve found it extremely hard to parent, get my work done, be there for my husband and also have my own worries and sadness on top of everything.  Thankfully my mom helped us out and things seem to be on the upswing.  Well, aside from the ton of work I need to get done that is not currently getting done because my hospital wifi won’t connect to my work desktop! ahhhhhh!! stress.

I guess since I can’t do my actual work I will share a few thoughts I’ve had on making it through a stressful time.

1- Take it as it comes.  There is no need for speculation in hard times, it is going to be how it is.  Simply making it from one moment to the next is all that is expected of you.  Going with the flow is kind of necessary.

2- Vent.  I don’t know how many friends I’ve vented to this week.  I just needed to tell someone how I felt.  My fears, my sadness, being overwhelmed.  I needed a listening ear, and thankfully, I’ve had quite a few.

3- Kids.  I think it is easy to think in situations like this, ahhhh HOW am I going to possibly handle my children right now?  There is so much expected.  We have to travel and stay up late and not have real meals…but they need routines.  It is especially hard to have a little one with food allergies (that means no pick up McDonalds) and another one with serious anxiety and OCD.  BUT…this week I’ve not focused on these things.  I’ve had help from my mom, offers to help from my friends, and family members that helped calm them and keep them entertained.  Kids are go with the flow, especially when you take the time to appreciate them, comfort them and love them.  Its great for them, and really great for you.  Kids can always make you smile and always make you laugh.  They are such blessings.

4- Keeping the kids entertained.  If you have to take the kids to the hospital… it is important to pack an entertainment bag!  My kids are 4 and 1.  I packed blocks, books, kumon writing books, pencils, toy cars, the ipad, chargers (so necessary), snacks, a baby doll for my little girl, etc.  For the most part, they stayed pretty entertained.  Do not, I repeat, do not go to the hospital without these things haha.  You think you’ll be there for an hour or two but you are there for 6.  It happens.  Be prepared.

5- Ask for help.  If you need help with anything, ask.  It takes a village and your village is there to help you when you need them.  Whether it be with work (which I’ve definitely needed help with– and amazing coworkers have stepped up to help with that), childcare, or running errands.  Sometimes you can’t do it all and you need that helping hand.  Reach for it.

6- Prayer.  Spending time to reflect on the events of the day and pray that all will be taken care of and trusting that, is essential.  God has shown us miracles this week and we are so grateful.  Prayer changes things, and us.

7- Sleep.  Don’t be dumb and stay up late catching up on TV.  (guilty.)  Sleep really is essential.  Sitting in waiting rooms isn’t physically exhausting, but stress is very mentally exhausting.  Your body wants you to sleep… when you get the time, do it.  Seriously… do it.  Your body needs to relax and recharge.

Through a very stressful week I’ve found peace in quiet moments, tickle fights with my kids, sweet embraces from my husband, and the love that is so present in serious times.  Family is so very special.  I am grateful for mine.

Quick Tip Tuesday: Skipping the party!



So, I’ve been slammed with work. That is why I haven’t been updating. I watch my kids full time and do transcription for a dermatology clinic part time. I stay busy! I wish I could blog whenever I wanted to… but I can’t unfortunately. I love it when I have the time!!

Today’s tip is kind of up to you to decide if it works for you or not. Today is my son’s birthday. He is 4! I cannot believe he is 4 years old. I feel like I had him yesterday. I remember them placing him on my chest. I sobbed. I was so happy to meet him. I was so tired. I was so in love. The nurse looked over at me and said “what’s wrong? are you in pain? why are you crying?.” I thought it was very bizarre. This was the single most important moment of my life to that point and this lady was weirded out over my emotion!

I’ve thought about this moment so many times in the past 4 years. It represents so much more to me. The nurse, for whatever reason, felt that I wasn’t acting appropriately. Maybe she was concerned something was wrong… but I kind of just wanted the space to feel my feelings.

This past year has been a hard one for our family. Jack has had troubles at preschool (his former preschool) and Claire has had her allergy battles, etc. I suffered with my postpartum anxiety/OCD and we’ve just been run ragged it feels like. Once again, I haven’t really been allotted the time to “feel my feelings.”

Because of the craziness of the year I chose to do “no party birthdays.” This was a hard decision because it was Claire’s first birthday and Jack is obsessed with birthdays! (really, the kids in his class had to list something they love at valentine’s day- most kids in his class chose their mom or dad… Jack chose birthdays). I made this decision because every year I’ve gone all out and thrown Jack full on Pinterest parties. We’ve had tons of people… too many gifts, big cakes, etc. At the end of the day we’re ALL exhausted, our bank account is a bit smaller, and Jack has a ton of toys he doesn’t touch for 6 months. Also, I read this article recently and decided that I want to be a family like this.

I’ve REALLY realized recently how rapidly my children are growing up. It is happening so quickly. I want to experience things with them. I want to connect and enjoy them. I won’t care about a billion cutesy pinterest inspired pictures in the future, I’ll care about having an amazing birthday experience with my 4 year old! As long as he is happy, I’m happy. I’m glad we will have a birthday where we don’t have to worry about details and can focus on the joy his birthday brings!

He has made a few requests this birthday. He wants to go to “target, the movies, food lion, lowes, and the mountains.” LOL. I can make some of those happen. I took him to Target and he got birthday hats and a scooter. He had cupcakes with his friends at school. We’re going to jump at a trampoline park this weekend and eating dinner at his favorite restaurant tonight. We’re going to the beach next month. (what we also did with his sister for her first birthday! she saw the beach for the 1st time on her 1st birthday!) He is excited and I am getting the opportunity to share that enjoyment with him– rather than worry about small details.

Give it a try. See if it works for you 🙂