It is 10:45 and both of my kids are asleep so that is a huge victory oddly enough. We’ve had 8″ of snow in the past week and now it is 65 degrees. My kids were inside for days and refused to sleep. Their schedules are so crazy! Today I stayed home with my tiniest little because she’s getting over the crud. So… I had a pretty hard day.
A lot of days have been pretty hard lately. However, in these hard moments there are other moments. Not necessarily good moments… but moments. Moments that I can space out and think of things that don’t really matter I guess… or maybe they really do. Anyway, I’ve decided to share some of those thoughts- so you can further believe I’ve completely lost my mind.
*Today I was in the kitchen and I felt a tiny breeze only around my ankles. it was the most bizarre thing. I immediately wondered if there was a spirit flying around the floor. I pictured a super tiny one but realized that was ridiculous… it was likely one of my dead cats or something. Or maybe it was my grandma messing with me. I looked around but saw nothing and then it went away. ::shrug::
*I asked my daughter to hold me today. She said no. Then she told me to cry. I immediately burst into laughter because she is the sweetest and the craziest 2 year old I’ve ever met all at the same time.
*Also, birds. I could write a book on birds. It would be a book with likely NO bird facts whatsoever because I don’t know anything about birds… but I do think a lot of things about birds. If you watch them fly they’re really working at it and then they kind of glide. We don’t really have the equivalent to that. We can’t just walk really fast and then glide… unless we’re on skates… or driving. I guess we do have cars and skates and they don’t… but still. Also, if the wind blows and a bird is flying against the wind and it throws him off course does he freak out? What if he is afraid to fly? Can birds be scared of heights? Can birds be flying and then suddenly be totally afraid of flying? Are birds ever super mindful and aware that they are flying and then forget how to do it? Also, when there are birds flying all together and then they all suddenly change direction… why? How do they know? How do they know to all go the opposite way? I really NEED to know. Also, some birds are really big. Uncomfortably big. I’ve seen a few lately that I would assume would be in a zoo or something but they were actually just flying across the street to the gas station. Toward the gas station… not to the gas station specifically. Birds are wild.
*Cats. Is my cat Sophia more cuddly now because she’s 9 or because she knows something I don’t. When they cuddle my arm or lick my face are they trying to tell me something? There was that nursing home cat that always flocked to the person that was about to go and so when my cats cuddle I love it and hate it. Then I hate that I can’t enjoy the moment of my cat cuddling me without over-analyzing it and feeling paranoid. Also, allergies. Why the hell am I allergic to my own cats?
Finally, this morning an admin at my son’s school told me I couldn’t drive around the car pool lane anymore and park at the front of the school to drop my son off (even though I totally thought I was allowed to do that since he’s in Pre-K). My son came home and told my husband that “mommy can’t take my to school anymore because Ms. Misty said that she couldn’t come around anymore…” My husband questioned what he meant and my son said, “yeah, she can’t come around my school anymore.” So… there you go. I break the carpool line and now I sound like a criminal via my 4 year old’s amazing story telling abilities.
There is my update. I applied for a ton of jobs today and have no idea what I want to do with my life. Sometimes I’m thankful for these weird little moments that don’t mean anything at all… because I can zone out and focus on something other than how I actually feel lately.. which isn’t so awesome. Even so, I’m blessed. Happy Monday.